If the courts were smart and truly wanted to help mend fences then they would help children gain the trust back by letting the children decide when they are ready. Sounds crazy I know, but after watching many times with children around me dealing with similar situations it’s a no brainer.
The more the courts force, the more these children are going to resent and hate the parent. That being said, one particular case caught my eye and shows just how corrupt and biased CPS and the justice system has became.
A Michigan judge has ordered three children held in juvenile detention until they are 18 years old, or until they attempt to have a relationship with their father. Oakland County Circuit Judge Lisa Gorycyca held the three siblings, ages 15, 10 and 9, in contempt of court for refusing to apologize or participate in visitation with their father.
You’re very defiant,” she said. “You have no manners. There is no reason why you do not have a relationship with your father. Your father has never been charged with anything. Your father’s never been convicted of anything. Your father doesn’t have a personal protection order against him. Your father is well-liked and loved by the community, his co-workers, his family (and) his colleagues. You, young man, have got it wrong. I think your father is a great man who has gone through hoops for you to have a relationship with you.”
“I felt like I was watching them be executed,” their mother, Maya Tsimhoni, said.
The three children were taken into the custody after the hearing, held on June 24. According to news reports, the older son said the reason he refused to see his father is because he is violent, and he witnessed his father hitting his mother.
The judge has forbidden the children’s mother and any of her family from visiting the children while they are in the detention facility, Oakland County Children’s Village. At one point, Gorycyca compared the children to “Charlie Manson’s cult”.
What is amazing is that the courts treat children less than human. If an adult were in the same situation where they had to spend time with someone they can’t stand, or who has abused them they could simply walk away. As children they have no voice in these situations. This happens because too many parents use the court system to take children away from perfectly good parents. Shame on them for using the system for spite and revenge.
This judge, and I use the term loosely, degraded her position and no amount of justification can take that away. She wasn’t upholding the law so much as abusing it. If she can’t use logic to guide her decisions then perhaps a different line of work would suit her better. Her emotional outburst in a situation already fraught with emotion is inappropriate as well as unacceptable. Coercion, especially in this situation, is going to do nothing more than cause resentment and fear. Maybe to her that leads to a healthy relationship with their father, but I don’t know any psychotherapist who would agree. Dictating that these children have a healthy, pleasant time with their father is like trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
Some will argue they are children and don’t have the right to decide. I disagree strongly, especially with the oldest “child”. At the age of 15 they should have every right to choose whether or not they want to see a parent or anyone for that matter not living in the same home. What are your thoughts?